301. For the love of God, I'm supposed to be the hero.
302. When I promise my Mages Guild apprentice that I'll stop when it starts to hurt, I will keep that promise.
303. The Orrery is not an amusement park ride.
304. There is no secret cow level.
305. Soul Gems are not Nethicite, Magicite, or Materia.
306. Count Hassildor is scarier than I am, and I need to keep this in mind while dealing with those in his employ.
307. Not allowed to hang a sign on my paint horse's rump that says: "My other horse is Shadowmere."
308. None of my weapons can talk, nor are they named Enserric.
309. Insisting that my weapons can talk will get me a one-wa
201. The power of Akatosh does not compel me, nor anyone else for that matter.
202. Not allowed to go door-to-door as a "Sheogorath's Witness."
203. Not allowed to go bandit-hunting solely because their armor is, and I quote, "Shiny!"
204. Should not think too hard about why ancient, unexplored Ayleid ruins contain caches of septims.
205. The ability to control the weather in the Shivering Isles does not make me Storm, and neither does the silver bodysuit I made Haskill fetch for me.
206. Not allowed to go chapel-climbing while wearing my Shrouded Armor.
207. Not allowed to go chapel-climbing in the Crusader's Relics.
208. Not allowed
101. Psijics do not have ESP, nor do they know Miss Cleo.
102. Dremora do not have a sense of humor.
103. Neither do the Mazken.
104. And dont even ask about Xivilai.
105. Slow-walking ghostly Blades dont like to be told to move their bloomin asses already.
106. Punt the Scamp will never catch on as a popular game.
107. Neither will Punt the Bosmer. Except maybe in Elsweyr.
108. Not allowed to summon Fire Atronachs inside of castles, no matter how drafty it is.
109. Not allowed to read The Real Barenziah in front of Alessia Ottus.
110. Especially the Daggerfall version.
111. At the top of
1. Sneaking into peoples rooms and watching them sleep is not an appropriate use of Invisibility.
2. Chancellor Ocato does not appreciate hearing about how soft his robes are and/or how much I want a set of my own.
3. It is considered bad taste to kill people and then arrange their bodies into compromising positions.
4. It is worse taste to do so in the following places: The Temple District, any of the chapels, any of the castles, or in the middle of Green Emperor Way.
5. Lucien did not give me Shadowmere so that I could board her at Chestnut Handy Stables for the sole purpose of seeing if shell eat the Orc.
6. St